Monday, February 18, 2008

Coaching Tennis

I first became aware of the problem that can arise from men coaching girls back when I was coaching high school tennis, (co-ed) track, and basketball.

I could see that something was wrong with the relationship between the head basketball coach and the girls, but I couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was. Then one day, I nearly gagged when I saw one of our best players throw herself on a loose ball and in one continuous motion swivel her head to see if the coach was impressed.

Apparently he didn't seem impressed enough, so her face screwed up with tears for the pain. That did the trick.

Ah, so that was why there was all this (usually unnecessary) "sacrificing of their bodies." They were doing it "for him."

Yuck, eh? ;-)

In this case it was plain to see that she should have scooped up that ball and tried to score instead of just throwing herself on it like a football lineman throws himself on a fumble.

I could also tell that, at some level, he was aware of what was going on and that his male ego was stroked by it. So he allowed it, instead of yelling, "What are you looking at me for? Get up and PLAY!"

The result was a very good team of head cases. He couldn't talk to them gently enough. They usually won, but when their opponents were good and didn't immediately fall behind, they panicked and just blurred, playing terribly.

In the conference tournament at the end of the season, the mass choking was so bad it made me mad, largely because I could see the head coach and his other assistant had just thrown their hands up in the air, completely at a loss about what to do.

So, I went out on the floor at half-time and stood under the basket while they were warming up their free throws. I stood there as if calm (so that the crowd and opposing team would have no idea what kinds of things I was saying) and I read them the riot act. I told them that they were stinking it up out there so badly that I could hardly stand to watch. I told them that they were embarrassing their coaches, fans, and the school with their long faces, their chins dragging on the floor, and their helpless, deer-caught-in-headlights looks. I told them to just quit choking, to grow up, and to show some guts, some pride. I wasn't nice at all.

They just all mouth-breathed at me in total shock. This was their Biology teacher? No, this was a woman coach = one who doesn't put up with that from girls.

They were so far behind already that I didn't think they could win, so I told them that I didn't care if they won but that I demanded that they quit stinking it up out there and play ball – to play the game the way it's supposed to be played, to win.

When I could see that I had them all mad at me, I went back to the bench.

Even I was surprised at the results. They put on a tremendous comeback, coming to within one point of tying the score when they ran out of time.

This doesn't mean that men can't coach girls when a qualified woman isn't available. But it does mean that men coaching girls, and the parents of girl athletes, must be aware of this potential problem.

The cure is focus – focus on the goal = to win, not to please your coach.

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